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"The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck : Click here

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TRLT: Part1 (Discipline)

Chapter: Problems and Pain:

1) Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems. Without discipline we can solve nothing. We attempt to skirt around problems rather than deal with them head on. The tendency to avoid problems and emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness.

Chapter: Delaying gratification:

2) One hour of pain followed by six hour of pleasure is preferable to one hour of pleasure followed by six hour of pain. It is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and to live. Some teenagers seem to have hardly developed this capacity atall. Experiencing the pain first and getting over with it. It's the only decent way. These are the problem students. Most of the signs point to the quality of parenting as the determinant.

Chapter: Sins of Father:

3). If father beats up mother, what sense does it make when her mother scolds him because he beat is sister? If a child sees his parents always behaving with self-discipline, restraint, dignity and capacity to order their own lives, then the child will come to feel in the deepest sense te same way is the way to live. Yet, even more important than role modeling is it and taking care of it- little lectures, little stories, little hugs and love. When we love something, we value it, we spend more time with it, enjoying kisses. Yet, some unloving parents will shower upon their children mechanical, valuable ~ "I am a valuable person" - is essential to mental health repititive love, not devoting significant quality time. The children who are truly loved feel a sense of "highly valued". This feeling of being and is a cornerstone of self discipline. It's a direct product of parental fortunate children will enter adulthood not only with a deep sense of own love. Such a conviction must be gained in childhood; it's extremely difficult to obtain in adulthood. When one considers oneself valuable, he/she will take care of himself in all possible values. Self discipline is self caring. Such value, but also with a deep sense of internal security. With this internal sense of consistent security, such a child is willing to delay gratification of one kind or the other, secure in the knowledge that the opportunity for gratification, like sweet home, loving parents, is always there, available when needed.

Chapter: Problem Solving and Time:

4) Anyone can solve any problem if willing to take time.I remember a short poem with regard to time:

"Take time for things important to you.

Take time for things that make you happy.

Take your time for being with loved ones."

(I do not remember the whole poem.) The solution to the problem may represent the gratification. Unwillingness to delay this gratification (i.e., to take time to think and analyze the problem) will generally result into inappropriate and away. They must be worked through. The tendency to avoid problem-solving is short lived solutions, which may further worsen things. Problems do not go like delaying gratification, as confronting problems is many times painful..

Chapter: Responsibility:

5) we must accept responsibility for events/ problems in our life before we can act upon/ solve it. Generally such a situation is accompanied with disowning the event/ problem, and thinking the other person/ society responsible for it.

Chapter: Neuroses and Character disorders:

6). Neuroses: when neurotics are in conflict with the world, they automatically assume that they are at fault, whereas those with character disorders assume the world is at fault. Neurotics assume responsibility for their difficulties and therefore see themselves as source of problem. Those with character disorders don't see themselves as the source of their problems, hence difficult to work with. They repititively fail to recognize the necessity of self-examination. It's said that ' neurotics make themselves miserable, those with character disorders make everyone else feeling miserable, and generally make way towards adulthood, or may be removed. All children show early symptoms of neuroses and character disorder. It's the wisdom of theirs which will differentiate between the two. Only Genuine love and care by parents can shower upon them this wisdom to know the difference.

(Source: "The Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck)